A Weekend with God......

Pacem in Terris should be an annual get-away for everyone. What a wonderful experience and definitely a blessing from God. I came into the experience thinking that I'd just embrace relaxation, but God had other plans for me. He so laughed at my rigid plans for the weekend (reading 3 books, exercising, crochet a blanket, etc.). What we were told before we went to our prayer cabins is that in our daily lives we are defined by what we do and what we achieve; just the simple question, "What did you do today?" At the hermitage, this was a time not to do or achieve but to BE!

Amazing how time stood still. I was so comfortable in my settings. All fear and anxieties were purged from me and I was free. I did what they suggested at the hermitage, make a list of your worries and thoughts then set it at the alter and the cross and let God take care of those prayers. After closing off the mind and intellect, the heart is free to open up and that it did.

I knew that I wanted to pray. One part of prayer that I don't reciprocate in is Listening. I chatter and chatter on to God, snippets of the day. At the hermitage I was able to listen to God. He came to me in scripture readings, songs, and my own reflections and thoughts. It was beautiful.

"Be still and know that I am God." This is exactly what I did and I found out a lot of what God wanted me to hear. He loves me SO much. I can't express how much love he showed me. Infinite amount of love. I really needed to hear this from him. For I am love dependent and depend on acceptance. He taught me that I don't have to worry about anyone loving or accepting me because he does and that's enough!

He also emphasized his Presence. He is everywhere, he goes to the dark places, he's there for the joy. I just need to invite him into my different aspects of life so that I can realize his Presence is abundant. But even if I forget to invite him, he's still there.

I reflected on Resurrection quite a bit. It was hard not to, with it being in the Easter Season. Spring buds are blooming. The prairie was burnt so that new prairie can prosper. So I reflected on Jesus' crucifixion and resurrection and how we parallel this with gardening and if we search deep enough we can parallel it to our lives. We can crucify that what is robbing us of our nutrients [our life], and weed out all the dead and let new life shine. With our gaze on God we can grow through that process but not by any means as deep of level as Jesus went through.

Lastly, I started personifying trees. I found green yearling evergreens, ever so tiny and I named them for all the babies that I know that are in womb. I would pass them in my wanderings and pray for them and ask blessings upon them. In one of my walks I found two trees that had grown close to one another and I thought right away, there's me and Paul. I went back to journal my findings and when I was writing, God caught me and said.....ah.ah.ahh! Aren't you forgetting someone? I immediately thought I have to find three trees that are growing together for God is part of the equation in Paul's and my marriage. I searched and of course it was in front of my picture window. Then I found a little C-man with a God branch growing on him and a little Miss-O with a smaller God branch growing from her! So there was my family of trees right before me and an instant reminder of prayer each day I was there.

Even though it was mostly a bare woods, it was beautiful. Watching the trees bloom right before my eyes. The prairie turned greener by the hour. I had the gift of seeing a deer. Or maybe I should say, it saw me. He came up and shied behind a tree and snuck a look at me. He pranced in front of my picture window, then snuck another peek. Then off he ran. I saw a turtle, snake, two gray squirrels, and birds of all types of species. Clear blue skies everyday and stars-a-blazing at night.

Now I'm praying that the kind of fill I received in the hermitage that God's love and ever presence will spill over into my daily life in the "real" world!

So, there's my hermitage experience.........it definitely was a gift from God! I encourage everyone to be a hermit of God in some shape or form. Finding solitude in the basement folding laundry, in your car with no music, sitting outdoors at night; I pray that you will find God's love and presence, and discover your resurrection. Most of all, I pray that you remember to listen to God and know that his plan is so much bigger and better than our plans. Hopefully he can call upon your heart and show you some truth for every hermit's experience will not be the same.