“When You
Feel Yourself Judging, Keep Assessing”
The above is my favorite
quote from a former colleague. At the
time, it was imperative to use during my period as a nursing instructor. I used it frequently, to stir the minds of
the students. I also accepted this
challenge personally and attempted to live it at work and at life.
The concept of this
quote was just reiterated in a nursing journal I read not too long ago. So, I have been cognizant of this idea. Recently, I was able to apply it into practice: picture if you can a young-aged man with a
history of a life-style of drinking and drugging, bearing a plethora of tattoos
over his body, throwing F-bombs at his girlfriend at the top of his lungs. At the time, I thought he was yelling at one
of our staff and when the door slammed, I hastily walked down the hall with a
new form of bravery—also knowing the resident was right behind me helped with
this unexplained courage. I swung the
door open in hopes to save my co-worker and instead saving the girlfriend from
being a target of this guy’s anger.
The doctor coaxed and
educated, I stood at the doorway to be a witness. I received a stat order of Morphine for his
pain and asked a male nurse on the floor to come with me—thinking that his
presence would buffer the man’s anger, when really the morphine was the real
buffer at that moment in time.
Girlfriend asks me about something to drink and this was my time to
invite her to come with me, so I could see how she was doing and to make sure
she was feeling “safe.”
A break to the galley
was when the “keep assessing” came to action.
Girlfriend states that he’s never hit her, but he’s yelled at her a lot
especially in times of stress. She talked
about how there was so much more underneath the surface of this guy’s life:
losing multiple people in his life to the consequences of IV drugging,
discovering that his mother and son are dealing with a similar acute on chronic
illness, being freshly told that he has a condition that may be due to his
history of IV drugging or that he may be joining his son and mother in the same
acute on chronic illness. That’s
huge! “He is scared as Hell.” I stated matter-of-factly to Girlfriend. (Sometimes a nurse has to be real.)
Girlfriend and I also
discussed how in addition to being scared and stressed that he is trying to
find some control of a situation that he doesn’t have any control over. Insert: yelling tattooed guy—really tattoos
don’t bother me or make me think any less of a person, it was more a picture I
wanted to paint—targeting his anger toward his girlfriend, threatening that if
he doesn’t get anything to eat soon, he’s going to rip out the IV and walk the
“hell right out of here.”
My first thought of the
guy, “Crap, he sounds really dangerous.” My
concerns for this gentleman quickly transformed from the judging to wondering
to questioning and assessing. Everyone
cries for help in a different manner, his at the time was in the manner of a
persistent four letter word at the level of 100 decibels! This cry for help welcomed me into the scene
to better understand the situation. Not
only did I personally learn something, but I was able to validate the patient
and his girlfriend.
In the end, we all need some validation.
No comments:
Post a Comment