Keep Assessing . . .

“When You Feel Yourself Judging, Keep Assessing”

            The above is my favorite quote from a former colleague.  At the time, it was imperative to use during my period as a nursing instructor.  I used it frequently, to stir the minds of the students.  I also accepted this challenge personally and attempted to live it at work and at life.

            The concept of this quote was just reiterated in a nursing journal I read not too long ago.  So, I have been cognizant of this idea.  Recently, I was able to apply it into practice:  picture if you can a young-aged man with a history of a life-style of drinking and drugging, bearing a plethora of tattoos over his body, throwing F-bombs at his girlfriend at the top of his lungs.  At the time, I thought he was yelling at one of our staff and when the door slammed, I hastily walked down the hall with a new form of bravery—also knowing the resident was right behind me helped with this unexplained courage.  I swung the door open in hopes to save my co-worker and instead saving the girlfriend from being a target of this guy’s anger.

            The doctor coaxed and educated, I stood at the doorway to be a witness.  I received a stat order of Morphine for his pain and asked a male nurse on the floor to come with me—thinking that his presence would buffer the man’s anger, when really the morphine was the real buffer at that moment in time.  Girlfriend asks me about something to drink and this was my time to invite her to come with me, so I could see how she was doing and to make sure she was feeling “safe.”

            A break to the galley was when the “keep assessing” came to action.  Girlfriend states that he’s never hit her, but he’s yelled at her a lot especially in times of stress.  She talked about how there was so much more underneath the surface of this guy’s life: losing multiple people in his life to the consequences of IV drugging, discovering that his mother and son are dealing with a similar acute on chronic illness, being freshly told that he has a condition that may be due to his history of IV drugging or that he may be joining his son and mother in the same acute on chronic illness.  That’s huge!  “He is scared as Hell.”  I stated matter-of-factly to Girlfriend.  (Sometimes a nurse has to be real.)

            Girlfriend and I also discussed how in addition to being scared and stressed that he is trying to find some control of a situation that he doesn’t have any control over.  Insert: yelling tattooed guy—really tattoos don’t bother me or make me think any less of a person, it was more a picture I wanted to paint—targeting his anger toward his girlfriend, threatening that if he doesn’t get anything to eat soon, he’s going to rip out the IV and walk the “hell right out of here.”

            My first thought of the guy, “Crap, he sounds really dangerous.”  My concerns for this gentleman quickly transformed from the judging to wondering to questioning and assessing.  Everyone cries for help in a different manner, his at the time was in the manner of a persistent four letter word at the level of 100 decibels!  This cry for help welcomed me into the scene to better understand the situation.  Not only did I personally learn something, but I was able to validate the patient and his girlfriend. 

In the end, we all need some validation.

A Morning Surprise. . .

The weather report said there will be a dusting of snow today.  A dusting of snow has ended up as three inches of snow and more to come this evening.  The kids and I enjoyed how the snow tickled our faces as it came down this morning.

 

 Miss O is feeling the snow tickle her face.

 

 

After Connor and I scraped the snow off the car, we ventured our way to the school, slipping and sliding in the slick white stuff. . .

 Morning drop-off at school, the visibility was a bit challenging.

 

School is closing early and hopefully, Connor had enough time to give his presentation on his book-report-in-a-bag today.  He prepared and practiced this weekend (even though he procrastinated on the activity!) 

 

Lenten Promises

Last night, my third grade R. E. class and I discussed Lent and our Lenten Promises. 

The kids really got into this class session, which pleases me to see their faces light up.

We first discussed how Jesus went to the desert for 40 days and fasted and prayed before he started his journey of preaching.  We talked about how he was tempted by satan and how the Holy Spirit helped him get through the temptations during a time of weakness and hunger.

We related this story to Lent and how it is also 40 days and how we should fast, pray, or share during this period.  We talked about how it is not easy to keep promises and that we will be tempted during this period, but if we refer to the Holy Spirit to guide us, we can make it through.

I gave the kids a sheet of paper divided into six weeks and the kids had to come up with six different things they were going to do (or not do) during Lent, here are some examples:

• Keep my room clean
• No t.v.
• No I-pod
• No Minecraft (a computer game that kids this age are really into)
• No Broccoli (nice try . . . hehe)
• No Grapes (again, from same kid)
• Stop being Hyper (this, coming from my hyper one, bless his heart)
• No Orange Leaf (several kids wrote this one!)
• No sweets
• Stop lying
• Be nice to my brother
• Go to church
• Do my chores right away when my parents tell me to
• Pray more

I was quite impressed with their ideas and of course, expected some age-appropriate, silly ones too!

So what is the Roberts family doing this Lenten season??

We, as a family, will be doing E-free Fridays (Electronic-free Fridays) meaning no t.v., i-phones, computers, ds, etc.  When I told the students about this, they were all astonished and asked, "What is there to do?"  I replied that we have lots of games, puzzles, and books to keep us busy. 

I feel that it is important to take that electronic barrier down and have human contact with one another.  This is something that gets over-looked in our day of technology.

Connor says he is giving up X-box. 

Olivia is undecided, as well as her father (like father, like daughter). 

I have divided my Lenten promises into the categories of fasting, sharing, and praying.

Fasting:  I had a jump start in abstaining from Pepsi over the weekend and plan to continue this until I'm not drinking it ever, forever, never, ever, ever.

Sharing:  In addition, I would like to do 40 bags in 40 days again.  I had a jump start to this over the weekend too:  we went through Olivia's clothes and sacked the ones she outgrew (three grocery bags).  Two weeks ago, I purged our office and organized it (three garbage bags, one box of books, four large boxes to recycle, and one box full of magazines to recycle).  So, that means I'm already eight days into it, right?  Maybe by then my back will be better to get into it fully.

Praying:   I just read the book, "The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian and decided that I will be praying more for the ones I love.  To keep me in praying mode, I've decided to read books that will connect me to God.  So, Max Lucado, Stormie Omartian, and Beth Moore will be prominent in my reading life.

Are you making any Lenten Promises this season?  Maybe, renew your New Year's Resolution for 2013?  I'll be praying for you while I purge my house and NOT crave Pepsi.

Melting Hearts . . .

 

Since we are speaking of Valentine's Day, the kids and I did one more project. . .

 

Melted Crayon Hearts

 

I already had the supplies that I needed since we did this project three years ago. 

• A heart shaped silicone muffin pan
• old, broken crayons
• oven

The kids stripped the crayons while I searched the Internet for the oven directions:

Heat Oven at 225, place pan on cookie sheet, cook for 15 minutes. 

Allow to cool until they are hard and then peel them away from the pan.

 

It's a fun project for the kids to watch the crayons melt AND we are recycling!

 

This is the result!

We used adhesive and stuck them on card stock and wrote:

"Happy Valentine's Day, for "crayon" out loud!"

 

This was something I found on www.Pinterest.com and had seen it on a Blog three years ago. 

We wrote "You color my world, Valentine" on our last project. 

 

Then, I thought we could do one for C-man's R.E. teacher: and wrote the infamous John 3:16.

 

(ooops, forgot the e in life....no worries, he fixed it!)

 

 

I think we will be able to do this project in another three years.

 

Happy Valentine's Day, Friends and Family!

 

 

 

p.s. Doing research for my R.E. class, I learned that there isn't just one Saint Valentine like there is Saint Nicholas or Saint Patrick. 

 

There are three known Saint Valentines or Valentinus in the Catholic Church. 

 

There is legend that there was a priest called Valentine, in the 1300's, who secretly married couples in love when a Roman Emperor declared no marriage for young men.  The Roman Emperor at that time believed that marriage made men weak. 

 

Another legend says that a Christian, named Valentine, was imprisoned for being so open with his religion.  While in jail, he fell in love with the jailer's daughter.  The night before he was beheaded, he wrote her a love letter and signing it the ever popular, "Your Valentine."

 

On a side note, the middle of February is noted when birds find their mates.  This was observed by people in the Middle Ages (they called it something different), but may be why Valentine's Day is on the day that it is.

 

(references used from Roman Catholic websites, but not specified)



Be Mine

Valentine's Day is fast approaching us and we've been busy making Valentines.

I take that back--the girls in this family have been busy creating homemade Valentines. 

C-man made the process very simple:  he wanted me to buy candy that already had to: and from: on it.  He took ten minutes out of his time to write his classmates' names on them and then threw them in a grocery sack. 

Boom! Done!

Oh, and he requested a bag to hold his classmates' valentines.  I gave him a brown gift bag and he actually placed some stickers on them and drew some hearts.

Now, girls are totally different in this department; especially Liv who is an artsy-fartsy girl.  She opp ed for hand made valentines and a hand made box.  I wrapped a cupcake box in a bright pink and she strategically placed the stickers and wrote her name on it.

The concept for the Valentines were all her idea.  She found some inspiration in a magazine or a catalogue and made one out of the blue one day.  I asked her if she would want to make them for her classmates for Valentine's day and she agreed.

It took two days and the final product is almost finished.  She has to sign her name to a few more to call the mission complete.  I'm glad that she was independent in this project.  She delegated cutting and gluing to me, otherwise she did the rest.

I remember the excitement of giving/receiving Valentines from my schoolmates.  Giving each girl and boy a special Strawberry Shortcake Valentine that I strategically picked out for them. 

Trying to read between the lines of the Star Wars and Hulk Hogan cards that the boys would give me.  (Little did I know that back in the day, boys were forced to write out the cards and didn't care who got what). 

I'm not sure what my favorite candy was, but I just remember the ever-popular red heart-shaped lollipop in addition to the conversation hearts.  I can still remember taking a bite into a cookie and tasting the cigarette smoke from one of the home-room moms (YUCK!), it's good thing that they went to pre-packaged goodies at holiday parties because that was a BIG disappointment.

Pranked

This past weekend, we experienced a little something that reminds me that my little guy is getting older.  Six-thirty on a Saturday morning, we received three prank calls from Connor's buddy.  We knew this thanks to caller-i.d.  All were messages, because the whites of our eyes do not see 6:30 am on a Saturday morning.  In addition, we also received a message on Friday night. 

The content of the messages was the average prank call from a fourth grader: "Ha Choo!," "Cough," and "Uh, is this Pizza Hut?"  But one message was one I disliked and that was the Friday night message: "[insert name] hates you Connor!"

My blood was boiling once I woke up completely and found out who and what the calls were about that morning and there went my four hour slumber.  Knowing Connor's buddy's mom, I called and left a message and told her what happened.  Told her if it was Connor that I would want to know and knowing her, she would want to know.

She called back and told me that once the buddy (name shall be anonymous) came home from a sleep-over that he would be calling me with an apology, that she and her husband was not happy.  They allowed him to bring his phone to the sleep-over since they did not know the parents and for the buddy to use if he needed any help or an out.

Later that day, I received a call from the buddy.  He initially apologized and then wiped away all accountability for the act and told me his friends did it while he was in the bathroom.  I may believe just "maybe" the morning calls were from the other friends, but the Friday night call was his voice.  We get frequent calls and messages from this boy--we know his voice.

Now, to make this even twistier, Connor and Olivia were invited to this buddy's and his sister's birthday pool party on Saturday night.  Connor didn't really want to go and I told him that he and Olivia would be going because we committed and that Dad would be around to be another set of eyes on the kids at the pool.

The buddy stuck with his story and told Connor, at the party, that the other guys did the calling and that he was in the bathroom.  It's hard to trust him anyways because I've witnessed many a time when he has not listened or obeyed his parents AND I've seen him talk back to them.

So here are the feelings I was going through:  anger of the whole situation, distrust of the friends, especially the buddy with the phone, frustration with the friends, fear for my child, and anxiety for my child. 

After shedding some tears over it, I knew I had no control over this and that it was what it was and will unfold however it unfolds.

We did tell Connor about the calls, prior to the party, thus him not wanting to go to the party.  He was disgusted by the ordeal but did not go through all the feelings I did.  I was unsure if I should tell him about the Friday night call, but I decided to be completely honest with him and broke it to him.  He totally surprised me by saying, "yea, he does hate me, I know that."  He was so calm and cool about it and so matter-of-fact that it blew me away!

Sunday, I prayed and gave it all to God.  I prayed for my son's protection of any subsequent activities, I prayed for Connor to have courage and wisdom to handle it.

Monday, I reluctantly dropped him off at school.  I did a great job of pretending all was normal, he never knew I was fretting.  After school, I did a huge sigh when I saw him walking with a buddy (that was not at the sleep-over) and they were smiling and talking.  At home, I asked for the report. 

He told me, "there were rumors, Mom.....and I started them."  Yes, he told everyone how the boys prank called him.  He even told his teacher and SHE specifically told the boy who "hates" him that that wasn't nice and called him on it.  Connor was totally cool with it all, he handled it like a champ.  He handled it a lot better than what I would have handled it. 

God, I love this kid!  Teaching me again, not to get all bent out of shape over something that seemed big but wasn't in his eyes.  He became the bigger person and checked it off as being a light-hearted activity.

Phew!  Deep breath of relief--at this time.
This, I'm sure is just the beginning of "these" situations.  Hmmm...dirty diapers don't sound so bad after all.