Frazzled!

Well, I've been a little bit frazzled lately. I've been so distracted with these darned student appeals......it's really made me do some soul searching.

The first student basically accused me of inaccurate things, put much of her failure into blaming me, and misinterpreted all that I did or said during clinical. Yah, that made me feel real good......I kept on thinking..this is how she is coping, this is her defense mechanism....but man, how bad can I feel? Never in my life have I been so terribly put down, and with what I feel are my God given talents and skills: Nursing and being a positive role model.

I understand that I'm learning different skills and strategies in the education arena and that I know I will better myself as I go along...but she wasn't helping with any encouragement to be a nursing educator.

The second student was not accusatory and it was refreshing. She was very mature and objective. She admits that she was having communication issues. I agree there were many barriers to communication with her. It takes two to have a reciprocal conversation. It also takes a student to talk with the instructor so that I could evaluate her performance and critical thinking.

As far as I know, I think she's going to take this a different way and try to restart the whole class. She failed the theory and clinical both. I told her that I would write a letter in support of the communication break-down and would encourage her to have a restart if she can work on her communication skills and to put forth more effort in her studies.

So I haven't heard much where we are at anymore. I know the first student went to the Director of Nursing Education, and the next step was the Dean, but I'm unsure if that was pursued.

So just waiting is killing me........I'm killing me with my thoughts. I can be my worst critic, so now that I have someone doing it more than me, I smell the competition and am being my own worst enemy. Yeah, I know these thoughts are not good, but that's how I have to process it. I just pray that this processing will go fast......if any of you want to throw out some prayers for me, I'm all for it....I'm looking for inner peace, patience, and confidence............thanks all.

St. Frances of De Sales' prayer has been helping me too....if any of you are familiar with it.....basically he says that God has been with me through all the troubles that I have had in my life so far and he will always be there. He will give me strength to get through it or he will protect me....so must not have fear of tomorrow and do away with the imaginings........that's paraphrased and not quoted whatsoever......

This to shall pass, and I can't wait!